Stay Safe While Running: Bring a Phone, a Dog, and a Prayer
Ladies, here’s your ultimate guide to surviving something as simple as going for a run:
- “Don’t run alone.” Sarah Hart, who was 10 weeks pregnant, followed this advice. She jogged with her sister. She was still raped, strangled, and murdered.
- “Don’t run when it’s dark outside.” Karina Vetrano ran in broad daylight. That didn’t stop her attacker from killing her.
- “Let someone know your route.” Vanessa Marcotte did exactly that. She was strangled and killed shortly after hanging up the phone with her mom.
- “Stick to well-populated areas.” Sarmistha Sen ran on a popular trail. It didn’t protect her life.
- “Get a dog to run with you.” April Millsap brought her border collie along. Her dog couldn’t save her during a failed rape attempt that killed her.
- “Fight back.” Lauren Heike tried to defend herself. She was stabbed to death 15 times.
- “If attacked, make a lot of noise.” Alyssa Lokits screamed for help. People heard her. She was shot and killed anyway.
- “Always run with your phone.” Laken Riley called 911 in her final moments. She still didn’t survive.
These women followed the rules. They did everything society says women should do to stay safe. But here’s the hard truth: none of it mattered.
It’s important to acknowledge that safety precautions — like letting someone know your route, running with a phone, and avoiding poorly lit areas — are still worth practicing. These actions can deter certain threats or provide tools for help. But the reality is that even with precautions, violence against women often persists.
Advice for women is often framed as if we can control the actions of others by modifying our behavior. This ignores the real issue: the societal structures and cultural norms that enable violence.
Statistically, most violence against women is committed by men. Women aren’t killing men while they’re hiking or running. Violence against women is not a random occurrence — it is a pattern deeply rooted in social and cultural dynamics.
If 70% of us are abused in a lifetime what is the number of men doing it? The answer is not 1 man running faster than light to complete a mission. In 2023, intimate partner violence was a precipitating circumstance for approximately 41.3% of homicides among females but only 7.9% of homicides among males. At least 92% of women who were killed, were killed by a man. We’re not here to bash men, but we can’t ignore the overwhelming data showing the disproportionality. Violence affects us all, and acknowledging patterns helps us find real solutions.
Violence against women is trivialized, romanticized, or excused in media and entertainment. Perpetrators are often labeled “monsters,” as if they are not part of a broader issue, distancing society from the uncomfortable truth that these individuals are products of a culture that excused all their behavior leading up to the act that made headlines.
When women are attacked, the first questions focus on their actions. Why was she running alone? What was she wearing? This misplaced accountability shifts the focus from the perpetrator to the victim, perpetuating the cycle of violence.
At its core, violence against women stems from power imbalances. In a society that undervalues women’s autonomy and voices, violence becomes a way to assert control.
We often fail to teach boys empathy, respect, and the humanity of women. When toxic masculinity is left unchecked, it leads to entitlement, aggression, and the belief that women are objects rather than equals.
Communities often prioritize convenience over safety — poorly lit trails, lack of surveillance, and insufficient law enforcement create environments where violence thrives.
The constant pressure to “stay safe” is exhausting. Women are told to take responsibility for avoiding danger, reinforcing the idea that our safety is our problem. Every precaution we take is a reminder that the world isn’t designed for us to exist freely.
No amount of advice will solve this problem. Women can’t end violence by following rules.
Accountability for Perpetrators: Swift and severe consequences for violent crimes send a clear message that this behavior will not be tolerated.
Safer Communities: Invest in public safety — well-lit trails, security cameras, and visible law enforcement can help deter violence.
Shift the Narrative: Move the focus from “How can women stay safe?” to “Why are these crimes being perpetrated?”
Raise Boys to Respect Women: This is foundational. Boys learn from the adults around them — what they’re taught and what they see. Teach boys from a young age that women are equals and deserving of respect. Model relationships built on mutual respect, communication, and consent. Challenge harmful ideas of masculinity that equate strength with aggression or dominance. Emphasize that true strength lies in kindness and self-control. Address harmful behavior immediately and help boys understand the consequences of their actions. Create space for boys to express their emotions and vulnerabilities without shame. Men who respect and value women can play a crucial role in challenging harmful behaviors and creating a culture of accountability.
This isn’t just about running — it’s about the right to exist without fear. This isn’t about women asking for special privileges; it’s about ensuring every human has the basic right to safety and dignity. A society that allows violence against women to persist is a society that fails its members as a whole.
Sarah. Karina. Vanessa. Sarmistha. April. Lauren. Alyssa. Laken.
These women are not cautionary tales. They are victims of a society that doesn’t value their safety enough to protect them. We owe it to them — and to every woman — to stop asking what women can do differently and start demanding systemic change.
If we want a safer world, we must raise boys who respect women, hold violent individuals accountable, and redesign a society where women don’t have to strategize their survival.
Until then, women will keep running. But not from the truth.
