Mean World Syndrome
We have all seen someone say some varient of the following, but this is an actual statement I saw recently:
“I was born and raised in (insert any city, really) — third generation. I’m 60 years old and feel so heartbroken because we finally had to move. It is not the town I grew up in. We used to play until the streetlights came on, never locked our doors, and rode our bikes to the mall. When we wanted fruits and vegetables, we’d just go to the garden down the street. I could play at the park for hours. This is the city I love and miss.”
Her words clearly came from a place of nostalgia — a longing for a time when life felt simpler, communities felt closer, and the world seemed safer.
But here’s the thing: while her memories are valid and heartfelt, her belief that the city was safer back then may have more to do with how we perceive the past than how things actually were. Psychologists call this “mean world syndrome.” It happens when constant exposure to sensationalized news and scary headlines makes us think the world is more dangerous than it really is.
Take this example: most of us have probably seen stories about rising crime rates on social media or TV, but statistics tell a different story. In many places, including large cities, crime rates have actually dropped over the past few decades. What’s changed is how much news we see and how quickly it spreads. A single crime story from another state can be shared hundreds of times, giving the impression that danger is everywhere.
Nostalgia also has a way of glossing over the bad stuff. The woman in the post remembers her childhood as carefree and safe, but there were serious issues back then, too. For example, in Sonoma County, tragedies like the Ramon Salcido murders in the 1980s or the abduction of Polly Klaas in the 1990s shocked entire communities. There were gang wars in the late 1990s and early 2000s. These things didn’t make her town any less real, but they are often forgotten in favor of rosier memories.
I can relate to her feelings, though, especially when it comes to the loss of community. Think about how often we hear things like, “Don’t answer the door for strangers,” or, “Never trust anyone you don’t know.” It’s no wonder people feel isolated. A friend of mine recently shared a story about a kid knocking on their door, asking for help finding his lost dog. Instead of helping, my friend panicked, thinking it might be a setup for a robbery. That’s the world we’ve built — one where fear often wins out over kindness.
At some point, I decided I didn’t want to live like that. Sure, I’m cautious, but I refuse to let fear rule my life. It’s a choice we can all make: to reach out, connect, and rebuild the sense of community we miss so much.
The woman’s post, and the hundreds of similar comments you’ll find on platforms like Nextdoor, remind us that change is inevitable. Every generation faces its challenges. While it’s easy to idealize the past, it’s just as important to recognize the positives in the present and the opportunities for a better future. After all, we can’t go back to the days of unlocked doors and endless bike rides, but we can work to create a world where people feel connected, safe, and supported.
For me, that starts with small actions — smiling at a neighbor, helping someone in need, or simply resisting the urge to live in fear. Because if there’s one thing the past teaches us, it’s that a strong sense of community can make even the toughest times feel a little brighter.
